


With the kisses of your mouth

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Apocalypse, Dominant Castiel, M/M, Misunderstandings, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-05
Updated: 2013-01-05
Packaged: 2017-11-23 17:58:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/625010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the face of his death in the oncoming apocalypse, Castiel tries to get something important off his chest. But honesty never came easy to Dean Winchester, who hasn't exactly come to terms with his own feelings for Cas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With the kisses of your mouth

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from "New Chevrolet in Flames" by the Mountain Goats
> 
>  
> 
> _Oh would that you would kiss me with the kisses of your mouth_  
>  _For your lips are sweeter than wine, and have a more complicated history than the American south_

            Dean is not mine, although since I ripped him from the bonds of damnation, I’ve felt that he is. At first I wanted him to be a servant to the Lord, as I was. But strangely, mortal and wracked with pain as he is, he didn’t join the flock. He strayed with such purpose that I followed him, abandoning millennia of obedience for him and his belief in the value of human life, free will.

            I do not regret that he chose his own path, nor would I balk at rebelling again had I known the consequences. Just as I raised him from hell, he raised me from ignorance. In its place, in flooded doubt, despair, courage… and something else.  There were so many changes, all brought by Dean, it seemed. It was only natural that he became the most important to me. I fixated on the strange rituals of his daily routine. His hamburgers and pies, his meaningless references, his insistence on the wellbeing of the vehicle he calls Baby. Where the rest of my existence in my earthly vessel is and was muddled with confusion, Dean’s importance remains clear. I must keep him safe, I must stop the monsters he throws himself at from finally ending him. I didn’t understand this compulsion at first, but as I learned to monitor my own emotion I gathered that something was... different with him. 

            I find him in front of a small motor hotel in Missouri. Dean opens the hood of his car, his hands hovering over the engine and adjusting metal knobs whose purpose is unknown to me. A streetlamp’s light shows his face to me. His eyes dark back and forth below arched brows. His lips, for once, as not pressed in anger or frustration. He looks calm, assessing his favorite object with he satisfied appraisal of a proud father.

            “Hello, Dean.”

            His eyebrows arch for a moment as he looks up at me. I materialized just outside of the ring of light cast by the streetlamp. He inspects the car for a moment longer as he greets me.

            “Hey, Cas. Nice creepy entrance there. What’s next, whispering out of storm drains like Pennywise the clown?”

            “That would be… impractical.” He often says strange thing that confuse me. One corner of his mouth twists upward as he lowers the hood of his Baby. His hands rest on her a moment before he turns to me, leaning on the black car.

            “So, what brings you here?” I step into the light.

            “In the Biblical times, humans often spent time and shared drink with their companions in arms before they went to battle to be slain. I thought this was an appropriate time for that, given that we have countless enemies far too powerful for any hope of victory.”

            Dean exhales loudly. “Geez, Chuckles. Is that what it takes you to kick back and have a drink? The apocalypse?” He rounds the car, walks towards me, grinning. “I don’t want to imagine what it’ll take to get you laid.”

            I don’t answer. Dean saunters towards the motel room door, opening it. He glances back at me for a moment, pausing.

            “Sam’s out with Ruby. Hopefully not doing any feasting of his own, but…”

            Sam’s abominable consumption of demon blood makes me nervous, but I didn’t come to see Sam. “I know.”

            He shrugs and walks into the room. I follow him. Dean takes off his oversized leather jacket and tosses it onto a bed. Beneath he coat is his familiar flannel shirt. It’s his habit, like always drinking and never speaking his whole mind. He isn’t communicative, although he talks and talks. He doesn’t speak as angels do. With the exception of Gabriel, we speak frankly, without misdirection.

            “Dean, I will probably die before the apocalypse is over. I don’t have time to delay anymore-”

            Dean rounds on me, claps me on the shoulder. He points at me, shaking his head and smiling bravely. “Calm down, Cas. No one else is going to die.” He lets go and strides to the mini fridge, pulling out two beers and angling one towards me.

            “That’s not under your jurisdiction, Dean,” I say, taking the bottle of alcohol. “Thank you.”

            “No problem, Pollyanna.” He turns away from me as he takes a swig of alcohol. His shoulder hunch slightly as he crosses his arms ,the beer dangling from one hand. His collar is ruffled, the shirt stretched across muscled back. _Concentrate._

            “Look at me, Dean.”

            He turns. His arms fall at his sides easily but his face betrays him. His green eyes are wary. His opens his mouth for a moment before it settles into a worried line.

“I’ve kept myself from this for a while, but it’s too late to delay anymore, Dean.” I lay my hand on Dean’s shoulder, and then move it to the back of his neck. There is rough flannel, and warm skin beneath. Gentleness is mostly unfamiliar to me, but I pull him towards me slightly and press my lips to his.

            His mouth is soft and warm, his lips slightly parted in surprise. This is all I have time to observe before he tenses – freezes for a moment – and then pushes me violently and turns away.

            “What the hell, Cas? I’m not _gay!_ ” He spits the words out.

            Something like nausea and dull pain wash over me. I disappear.


End file.
